Things We Forget

Flossing. I’ll skip it until guilt or a dentist visit forces me to change my ways for about… two weeks.

Checking emails first thing in the morning. It feels like opening a box of small anxieties before coffee.

The gym warm-up. I know it’s important, but I want to jump straight into the “feeling accomplished” part.

I always skip blow drying my hair…I do not even own a blow dryer, because I know blow drying hair makes it dry, and my curls look their best without…

Morning alarms. I hit snooze like it’s a sport. Some days, I feel like I’ve run a marathon before I even get up.

I try to skip making my bed, but I never regret it when I actually do. It’s like giving your room a tiny bit of dignity.

I always try to skip stretching after workouts, even though I know it’s good for me. It’s like my brain forgets that future me will pay for it.

One time, I met god. I was 100% awake, and I was too shocked to speak. I was on four times as much acid as I had ever taken in…

Most people who are famous are arrogant bastards. Keep them away from me, please.

I think most famous people are overrated.