Mind and Body

Lucius and I were both students at the local University of Wisconsin. I met him though my roommate, and we became fast friends. Lucius lived with his twin brother Frank, who was not a student. Both twins were six and a half feet tall. I am not even five feet and two inches tall.

“Sup,” Lucius texted me one Friday afternoon.

“Not much u?” I texted back.

“Come over.” I glanced out the window, saw snow falling, and gulped.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Clarice, come the fuck over here!”

“It looks cold and icy.”

“No shit. Come over, I have something for you.”

“Okay, fine!” Then, I slipped and staggered six blocks to Lucius and Frank’s apartment.

“What’s up,” Lucius said as he greeted me at the door. Glaring up at his narrow brown eyes, I crept through the narrow doorway. We sat in a circle on the dark gray carpet.

Lucius pulled out a tiny bag containing strips of aluminum foil. He reached in the bag and pulled out the foil. He unfolded it and revealed tiny squares of what looked like white paper separated into tiny squares by miniature perforations. Lucius broke one tab off. It fit on a tip of his finger. He gripped the corner and held it up in front of his narrow dark brown eyes, and peered at me past it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Acid. Eat it,” he said, bringing his hand down towards me. I took the miniature square and put it on my tongue. It did not taste like anything. I swallowed it.

About an hour later, the acid hit us. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. The stark room danced around me. I perceived every detail of everything with perfect clarity. I found my awareness broadened. My perspective opened up, and I saw the big picture.

I was overwhelmed with an immense empathy towards every single living thing, humans the most. With my knowledge of how many other people existed, I imagined the immense suffering that followed. A tear slid down my cheek.

I wiped the tear away and looked up once more. By now, I was tripping. From the corner of my eye but in a direct way, I saw the face of a bearded old man in the hallway.

I turned to Frank and said, “I just saw an old man in the hall!” I pointed to the hallway ceiling.

“Oh my god, I see it too!” screamed Frank, and pointed where I had pointed. We held each other and shrieked.

I found myself more distant from myself; as if I kept backing up. Does this make sense? It was as though my senses and body were one thing, and my mind was another. My mind sat back and observed the impressions my body.

Soon, I passed out.

I awoke to light coming through the window. I opened my eyes and found myself on the floor of Lucius and Frank’s apartment. I was surprised to find that my mind, muscles, and entire body felt calmer than usual. The persistent anxiety that had lived in my head since an accident in high school was gone.

Each morning after that night for the next few weeks, I awoke to unusual calmness. It lasted all day. The anxiety was gone from my body. sensed.

I hoped it would last forever; it did not. Yet, afterwards, my perspective was different. I felt like I had been changed to see things, to view my entire life, from a higher perspective. Like, more of a bird’s-eye view. I was able to focus less on my mind, and more on my actions.Over the next year, I started doing acid every other month or so. I started getting straight As for the first time in college. I felt all the anxiety gone from my body, and my ability to breathe was greatly enhanced.

I did LSD continuously until I moved away from La Crosse. I can no longer find someone who sells LSD. Yet, I am grateful to Lucius for showing me the world in a way very few others have.