Happiness

The last time I was happy, truly, purely happy, was when I was 16. I had just learned how to drive. It was summer. Each caper was wilder than the last. I had no regrets. School came, but our habits stayed wild. In October 2011, I caused an accident that fucked me up pretty well. I was comatose for 7 weeks and I needed to relearn everything.

Twelve years later, I was similarly happy. My life was going great. I have a steady job I like and a similar boyfriend.

I was in the bathroom smiling into the mirror and noticed my chin wobbling. My own bliss was making me want to cry. Why?

I was feeling a strong emotion, but I felt like it was deeper than that, so I kept digging. Maybe a happy->trauma correlation imprinted on my brain when it was re-growing everything after the brain injury. Or the correlation could have happened in retrospect. Either way there may be a strong correlation between happiness and trauma in my mind.

This is interesting.