How can I tell whether or not I’m doing a behavior because I love him or because I have been socialized to serve men? I don’t think I have been very socialized, but that’s just it isn’t it. Socialization is subconscious.
The reason I say I’m probably not very socialized is because my mother herself was and is a true feminist. She did not even change her last name when my parents got married. So, I think any socialization that occurred in my life occurred after my childhood. So, feminine traditions and ideals are not super internalized in me.
Good. Many men are trash. But society (and, interestingly enough, my mother’s mother) condition me to serve men. All the men I interact with are respectful and deserve the best, but am I serving myself by offering it? So how can I decipher the true intentions behind my own behavior? If you have any ideas or insights or similar experiences to share, I would love it if you shared them!
Things We Forget 
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