Good question. Recently, I remember growing A LOT when my partner’s son was playing a really violent VR game * and I tried to tell my partner that he shouldn’t be playing that game, that it wasn’t good for his development. I talked to my mom about it and she said, “it’s really hard when someone else tells you how to parent.” I grew in my understanding of being in a relationship with a person with a child.

*all the victims were women. I later learned that his stepdad had changed the settings in his game (“what a misogynist” I said”).