Sisters

Sisters are loving, but they can easily tear each other’s souls into a million pieces. How does one make up for mistakes from the distant past?

My sister’s decision not to include me, but to include my other sister, in her wedding party really hurt me. In retrospect, her decision was completely understandable. They have always been closer than her and I, plus she wants to be sure that all her bridesmaids are doing it for the “right reasons”.

I think she is afraid I will use the wedding as an excuse to abuse substances and not support her – which, given my past, is a fair concern. I will not, as I gave up drinking yesterday. Woohoo, great start. My goal is to maintain my alcohol sobriety for 1 year.

My past with my sister is fraught with evil. As children, I once dragged her by her hair off the couch and into a different room. I was old enough to know better.

I showed up to her 8th grade graduation stoned. When I was 16 I almost killed myself in a car accident, which paired with her mental state, sent her spinning into multiple suicide attempts. I ruined her high school graduation party by getting way too drunk and hitting on her friends.

Love is madness, but madness is not love.